ERRR so picture this if you will…

There I am innocently sunbathing in the garden for half an hour. I am with my hands behind my head (as one does). All of a sudden I feel claws drag across my hands and I look up to see a red kite inches from my face before flying off again (obviously realising that my hands were indeed attached to the rest of my 6 foot body and no I wasn’t food). Cheeky blighter! The red kites here are commonplace – they take permanent residence on the lawn eating the fallen avocados from the tree. But it is not everyday one tries to make a pass at eating you. Ah.

Other animal related stories this week…The house is meant to be anti-monkey because it has about 6 or 7 Bombax trees. They are evil – they have spikes all over the branches so the monkeys don’t climb them hence SUPPOSEDLY you don’t have monkeys. Monkeys are a huge problem here, baboons being the worst, and they can wreck houses just hunting for food. So as you might have guessed we have a resident monkey. But not just any old monkey! A male colobus monkey. Each day he has ventured a little further up the garden and we’re now being especially cautious to shut windows etc as this could potentially turn into a really nasty situation. I, however, am most excited about this latest development! In the blurb provided to us Kilimanjaro trekkers by Kuoni, Colobus monkeys are written about with such excitement e.g. ‘watch out for the rare colobus monkey’ ER got one in the bloody backyard. They are magnificent though, they have these white ruffles on their bellies and a white fluffy hat like an old gentleman with white hair.

Another growing problem here, and across the country is the Rift Valley Fever. It isn’t actually a problem here in Nairobi – no one living in Nairobi has caught it yet. But it is a huge problem in Naivasha/Nakuru area (which is about 2/3 hours west of here towards Lake Victoria). People are literally dropping like flies. This bodes well of course when you then take into account that I will be spending 4 days in that exact area on safari etc in 2 weekends time. Ahahahahahaha! It is spread through undercooked meat, such as steaks etc so I think my eating policy for that weekend will be adapted to vegetarian mode. There is a cure, but unsurprisingly it all comes down to cost. The harsh reality of it is that people just can’t afford to get treated and there aren’t sufficient enough facilities in the local and more rural areas to get the correct treatment.

Despite being the middle of summer and many parts of Kenya reaching 50° C every day – the last two nights we have seen torrid and torrential rain. This kind of rain is what leads to flash flooding and within the space of hours parts of Nairobi are awash with muddy water and the roads have deteriorated beyond belief. These are further effects felt here of the El Nino phenomenon. It seems that Africa is the continent that is least harming the planet in terms of global warming but is most seeing the effects of other countries polluting. The arid land and extreme drought are testimony to the furthered effects of desertification across this amazing continent. And while some elements of this are natural processes, we are acting as a catalyst and only provoking the problem. Being a bit of a greenpeace groupie I find this very hard to bear witness too. It reminds me of some quote in the film ‘Sahara’ – ‘It’s alright, nobody cares about Africa’. To a certain extent this is true. Multinational companies may have green policies and seem to be ethical but it is they who dump waste on the continent. It is they who trial new untested medications on locals out here abusing the fact that they can’t afford medication so they offer it free (constant gardener anyone? It’s true). It is they who burn the natural gases produced from the oil refinery process – and produce more in the way of greenhouse gases than would be regulated in their native country where they are signed up to the Kyoto protocol… Another story that failed to ever make the news was the wash up of nuclear waste bins on the Somali coast. The Italians had been illegally dumping into the Indian Ocean for years and it was only after the Tsunami of 2004 that these bins were washed up on the Somali coast. Locals opened these bins inquisitively (as anyone would do if huge big bins appeared on the beach) and there are huge exposure health issues now as a result.

Is it just me that this saddens? It’s not even anger. It’s extreme sadness that we willingly live in our own naivety, turning off the tap when we brush our teeth to be green. But really what difference does that make when we continue to (often unknowingly) support big organisations that are slowly destroying our planet. You say ‘a football field’s worth of amazon rainforest gets cut down every 18 seconds’ to anyone and it’s upsetting to hear. But what do we actually do about all of this? I’m not trying to convert people to become lunatic save the planet types, but isn’t it all a little frustrating that we are being shown adverts on saving the planet and making a difference when we’re really not. Our country is tiny. I know that we as Brits use stupid quantities of electricity and fuel – I myself am guilty in that I was too lazy to ever walk from school to tesco so we would drive. Hands up who else drives when they could really just walk?

When there are 435 million living in the European Union alone compared to the number of brits trying to energy save (which will be nowhere near the 60 million who reside in the UK). Aren’t we being made to feel guilty enough? Are our efforts all just futile? I get the impression most people are already feeling strongly about global warming but surely the next step for the government would be to actually try and make a global difference. So long as America doesn’t sign up to the Kyoto protocol or anything like it – what are we doing wasting our time getting stressy about turning off the odd light or two? It’s not like America can’t afford to use more Eco-friendly methods of living – such as running cars on Ethanol (distilled from sugar – the Congo’s largest export btw and being 5 times the size of France supply and demand would not be a huge issue). It’s because we’re nearing a US election and they don’t want to upset car manufacturers, factories and the like for fear of losing votes. I could just scream with frustration!!!

And would someone please explain this new air tax to me please? Being 4000 miles away and relying solely on the 2 dodgy international news channels (one being Sky, which reported Jo S’Club from celebrity big brother in an interview claiming to be suicidal ABOVE the birdflu story and destruction of recent ceasefire in Gaza….) So anyway it all seems to be a little unclear at the moment, but has the government actually given any information as to what the money will be spent on? Or will it be joining the lottery funds that are soon to be raided by Mr Brown in an attempt to cover the costs of the 2012 games that have reportedly risen to 5bn? What the hell is going on?

More importantly above ANY of these global issues is the superficial problem of what to do with the great big djembe drum I have recently purchased at a local market…It is literally about 3 ½ feet tall and I arrived about 7 kg over the weight limit….bags that is. Not me. So I’m not entirely sure what I will be doing to solve that problem….


Until next week. Leave a comment! Even just to say hi – I want to hear from you!